Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

RELEASE DAY: Anna Clayton "Christmas Love"




Blurb:
Dee Wallace's father died six months before her mother made her spend Christmas Day with a man Dee hated, the bully from school and a house full of strangers. There she meets Max Portland, who somehow made everything about her first Christmas without her father better.
Over the next several years, Dee and Max come together at Christmastime and the timing is never right for them to be together. How many Christmases does it take to grow up and fall in love?
 
 
Author:
Anna Clayton lives in upstate NY with her husband, kids, dogs, cats and a bunch of other pets.  When she's not playing matchmaker in her stories, she loves to read, cook, hike and connect with readers.
 
 
Now available on
Amazon Barnes& Noble Smashwords
 
Excerpt:
 
Christmas Day, 1998
 
Deidre Wallace wanted the world to cancel Christmas.
It wasn’t fair. Everything went on like normal for everybody else, but her world would never be the same again.
Her dad was gone. He’d died six months ago, and she missed him even more today than when he had first passed away.
Now she had to sit in the backseat of the car while Mom drove them to his house for Christmas dinner. She hated him. He had been there when Dad had died, and he should have saved her dad.
Just last week Deidre's mom had forced her to sit down so they could watch the movie Home Alone together. If that kid had made it through the holidays and could fight off burglars, she should be able to stay at home for just a few hours without a problem. She’d tried that argument before they’d left the house. Her mother wasn’t having any of it.
“Jingle Bell Rock” came on the radio, and her mom began to hum along. How could she? Why did she think that it was okay to feel happy when everything about their lives felt wrong?
“Can you shut off the radio?”
Dee's mother glanced over her shoulder before reaching out to the dashboard to turn the volume down. “I thought you liked this song, Dee. Remember how you and Dad used to dance around the living room when it would come on?”
Of course she remembered. Dee remembered everything about her dad, which was more than she could say for her mother. “Yeah, I remember. That’s why I don’t want it on.”
She saw her mother’s shoulders slump, and she pressed the power button on the radio. “Honey, I know you miss Dad, but it’s okay to remember all of the good about him. Especially this time of the year. You know how much he loved the holidays.”
Dad hadn’t just loved Christmas. He’d made it magical. For as long as she could remember, every year on November first, he would head out to the garage, climb up into the storage rafters, and bring down box after box of holiday decorations.
Every day until the weekend before Thanksgiving, he’d come home from his factory job and yell, “Dee! I need your help finding my Christmas spirit!” right after closing the front door. Dee would drop whatever it was that she’d been doing to run and body slam into him for a hug.
He’d picked her up and hugged her with her feet dangling above the floor up until last Christmas. Dee thought that she had grown too tall, and she'd told him she was too old to be treated like a little kid anymore. At twelve, she was probably getting kind of mature for everything else, too, but she wasn't ready to give up the tradition with her dad.
No matter how grown-up she felt, she still hugged him when he'd call her to the door, and when she did, she’d inhale the scent of tar from his work at the factory. She didn’t care that it wasn’t that great of a smell. It was her favorite because it was his.
They’d make their way to the garage where he’d place his hands on his hips. Dad looked like the most handsome man in the whole world when he stood there. She’d loved his curly, dark brown hair, huge grin, and how he always wore T-shirts with cartoon characters on them. He'd been perfect.
Dad’s mouth would slowly drop from a smile into a frown before he’d sigh and say, “Well, pumpkin. I can’t decide what we should put out today. There’s too much to choose from. Should we just cancel Christmas and forget about it this year?”
For years she'd screamed “No” and dashed to a box, opened it, and grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on. This past year, her dad had played along when she just grinned and he gestured with his hand to give her the okay to dig in. On really good days, Dad would let her pick two or three decorations to put out around the house.
Mom always watched from the couch when they'd come into the house and would say things like, “I really don’t think we have room for all of those decorations” and “It looks like the Christmas spirit threw up all over our house.” Dad and Dee would laugh while Mom shook her head and smiled.
When the house was all decorated, Dad would take her to visit Grandma and Grandpa at least once a week for hot chocolate and cookies. Mom would stay home because she'd said she didn’t want to intrude on their time together. Dee knew better. Her Mom didn’t always get along with Dad's parents. No one ever talked about it, but it hadn’t been that hard to figure out. Even when they'd go over for other holidays and birthdays, Mom would always have a reason why she wouldn't be able to go.
The best part about Christmastime was when Dad would dress up as Santa, knock on the windows, wave, and leave treats outside the door for everyone. He'd done it up until their last Christmas together. Her parents had said time and again it wasn't her dad, but she knew it was him in the Santa costume. Dee would have known his eyes anywhere.
Dad even did his Santa routine on Christmas Eve. He’d put on his suit, fill his bag with presents, and make a ton of noise as he shuffled around the Christmas tree and placed the gifts around it. Dee could tell he knew she’d always watched from the stairs.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

RELEASE DAY: Maria Ann Green "In The Rearview"


Blurb:
When Meagan’s secret is found out, and she realizes there is no way to outrun her habit of cutting, she tries to work through it, and her depression, before she cuts too deep, making a mistake that can never be undone.
Meagan is introduced as a typical adolescent who struggles throughout her teen years. Though she has problems, like any other teenager, hers are worse. They've pulled her down into the depths of a depression that is anything but normal.
She begins her pattern of self-harm as her depression threatens to drown her. She starts with one cut following a discovery of the behavior from another friend. After starting it is apparent that there's no stopping, and Meagan spirals into a dark and cruel world she doesn't understand. Meagan cuts to feel better, but that comfort doesn't last long enough, and soon life is worse than it ever was before.
While learning to quit cutting Meagan faces life-altering obstacles and grows up in the process.
 
IN THE REARVIEW is a story of pain, loss, confusion, and hope told through Meagan’s poems, journal entries, and a splash of narrative.
 
 
Author:
Maria Green currently lives in Minnesota, despite its bitter winters, with her husband. She graduated with a degree in Psychology and a minor in English. When she isn’t writing, Maria loves to read with a cup of strong coffee or a glass of sweet wine, craft, and spend time with her family. This is her first published novel.
 
 
Now available on
Amazon Barnes& Noble Smashwords
 
Excerpt:
Chapter One
This is me
 
As her chin dipped down, and she noticed the soft raised skin, her heart skipped a beat. Meagan hated that an accidental glimpse still shot anxiety through her like knives. Her stomach could drop to her feet while her heart raced, all from just seeing a part of herself. It was a stupid reaction Meagan didn’t often have, but when she was already nervous about judgment it was inevitable.
She hoped against hope it wouldn’t always be that way.
Meagan was strong, she wasn’t a kid anymore, and she loved herself. It was stupid to feel such turmoil over something that was so far in the past. And it was truly overcome. But the visual, the tangible marker she could touch, the fact that her skin was marked and different forever, that’s what sent her nerves into overdrive every once in a while.
Even after all this time, it could still catch her off guard. After everything, as much as it represented her strength, it also represented the wastelands of hurt she had waded through; she tried to remember that some badges of honor weren't pretty. And hers were small enough. But just like her past, they would never go away. Life didn’t have rewind or pause buttons. There weren’t real un-dos or re-dos. Life only had the present, the here and now, and it only had a play button.
She wished so often the tiny pink reminders were easier to hide. Though they didn’t stand out too much, their placement was inconvenient. If she could take them off, she would consider it, because she always had her memories and the lessons she'd learned. There were little pink reminders inside her head as well. Those could never be removed. The rest, even if they were badges of honor, weren’t as necessary anymore.
She would always remember.
It sounded shaming, to want to hide them, but that wasn’t Meagan’s intention. She wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed of who she was, but others still questioned or judged when they noticed a scar. They pried and probed about personal experiences that weren’t any of their business to be nosey about. Then they went quiet after she answered. That was the worst. Eyes averted and the subject always changed, but not until a pregnant pause passed between them first.
She absolutely despised awkward silences that followed a forced explanation.
That’s not how Meagan liked to open up.
Because that’s what it was to tell people about what had happened. It was opening herself up for examination. She had to be vulnerable and share history that wasn’t always easy to talk about when she was honest about her scars. Trust was needed in order to be comfortable in giving parts of herself away like that. Otherwise it felt wrong. But when Meagan was the one to choose on her own to share with individuals she cared about, it was only when she deemed both parties ready. It was always better if everyone was ready.
She just preferred to give the information instead of have it pulled from her. That wasn’t too tough a concept.
Because sometimes when it was demanded or requested of her before she was ready, somehow Meagan felt violated. She loved herself, she was proud of who she was despite what she’d faced, so she never lied about how she got her scars. Even if she was unprepared and surprised by the questioning, or reluctant to answer, she always told the truth. But it felt like betraying herself, violating her own security, when she gave out the information before she was ready.