Expert Advice on How To Right a Proper Fight Scene

What makes a fight scene engaging and exciting? This is something we writers often struggle with. As a martial artist of 13 years, I'm often asked how to write a leaner, meaner fight scene. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Genevieve Iseult Eldredge. I edit for Astraea Press under the pseudonym Aribeth Kingsleigh. I hold a black belt in traditional Chinese-American Goju-Ryu karate and weapons mastery. I have also studied kenpo, small circle jiu jitsu, judo, and kung-fu. But enough about me. Onward to the fray!

  

While there are many different techniques for writing a better fight scene, I’ve found that writers seem to face some common challenges. Based on what I’ve seen and experienced as a writer and editor, here are my Top 10 Do's & Don't's for building a better fight scene.

10. Don't: Use an Ace when a Two will do.     

Blasting the bad guy with a Howitzer when he doesn’t need to be blasted with a Howitzer is overkill. Overkill is risky because it can make your hero look like a bully. Instead, make the punishment fit the crime, and you'll fulfill the reader's sense of "rightness."

9. Don't: Be afraid to hurt your characters.

That scratch the epic hero sports after the end battle? You know the one—that tiny bit of blood that serves to enhance the hero’s good looks rather than prove he had to actually fight to win. Well, it’s not as cool as it looks. While there will be times when the fight is effortless for your hero, it’s important to balance that with struggle. Readers like heroes that have to earn their victories. Ask yourself: how heroic is it if it's easy?

8. Don’t: Restrict your characters’ powers.

Don’t give your hero a power (flight, time travel, invisibility, super strength, smoldering eyes) only to take it away every time it might become useful. Instead, let your hero use the power successfully at least once, both to show the reader how it works and to display your hero’s quality. Later, instead of restricting the power, you can make its use have dire consequences—your time-traveler might end up in Jurassic Park instead of Central Park.

7. Do: Be careful in making your character an expert.       

Make sure she can pass as an expert. If your protagonist is a martial artist, make sure you know enough about the martial arts to make your fight scene believable. Interview an expert, go to a dojo and ask questions—people love to talk about their interests—but don't ever fake it. Readers are smart and savvy. The second your expert does something novice, it will destroy the credibility of your fight scene, your hero, your book, you. Reader trust is delicate. Treat it with care.

6. Do: Balance your forces.   

And not just because I suggest it, but because Dwight Swain, author of Techniques of the Selling Writer suggests it.  Your hero is only as strong, smart, and savvy as your villain. If your villain is weak, then having your hero defeat her isn’t very heroic.

5. Do: Keep your level of reality consistent.

 If your fight scene is hyper-realistic, then keep in mind people can take a lot less punishment than Hollywood would have us believe. Any fight with a weapon will be over quickly. Any blow to the head can result in a concussion that can take weeks or even months to recover from. Likewise, if your fight scene is stylistic, keep it stylistic. Characters like James Bond and Neo and Trinity—heroes in epic-style fight sequences—can take far more punishment than normal people. Consistency is key.

4. Do: Remember, magic trumps everything.    

Magic, as long as it is consistent, is a powerful “Get Out of Jail Free” card. Physics, reality, science—it all takes a backseat to magic. Gandalf shouts, “You shall not pass!” and the Balrog falls. No one asks why because it's maaaaagic! But, take care. Magic must have rules and consistency. No one likes a hero who can do everything or to whom things come easily. Keep in mind ways to limit these powerful forces. Even Harry Potter needs his wand to cast spells, and he often struggled with his magic.

3. Don't: fake the facts

Do your research. Know that your heroine’s katana is meant to slice not to hack, and that the .44 Magnum has too much recoil and muzzle blast that it’s generally not used for law enforcement. Does that mean that your hotshot cop protagonist can’t carry a .44 Magnum? Nope. What it means is that you should address that his carrying the Magnum is unique—something that can aid you in the fight scene and character development. Win! The key is not to fake it. Always, always, preserve the readers’ trust in you.

2. Don't: Be afraid to experience.

When in doubt, act it out. If your hero’s opponent is taller, get someone who is taller, and walk through the fight scene slowly and safely. Go to museums, pick up swords and try on armor. Get a feel for what it’s like to swing a long sword, a claymore, a polearm. There’s a big difference. Writing an epic battle? Try LARPing. Throw yourself into the fray to see what it’s like. What town doesn’t have a rod-and-gun club? Interview weapon aficionados. People love to talk about their hobbies and interests. Use that as a resource! The best way to understand a weapon is to seek out an expert who can instruct you in its safe usage.

1. Do: Use short sentences and short paragraphs

Describe only what is essential. I can tell you from experience that in the thick of a fight, you don't have time to notice that "his eyes were blue, the color of wood smoke and he had a salt-and pepper beard lightly dusted with--" Um, no. Unless you’re telescoping time in your scene, you don’t really notice fine details when you’re under attack. In addition, long paragraphs signify to the reader that more time is taking place—a fact that can slow your fight scene down to a crawl. Longer paragraphs take longer to read and thus, they tend to leech tension.  Short sentences increase tension, and tension is of the utmost importance in a fight scene. No reader will put the book down in the middle of a tense fight scene where the hero’s life hangs in the balance. And that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Keeping the reader reading.

So, that's it, folks—10 Do's and Don't's of a Writing a Better Fight Scene. 

Feel free to question and comment here or follow me on FaceBook or Twitter (@girlyengine).

And a “thank you very muchness!” to Astraea Press for having me. Check out the newest AP releases at http://www.astraeapress.com/.

Check out these great Astraea Press titles with complex characters, original plots, and you guessed it fight scenes. 

The Keepers – A New Author’s Bumpy Road

The Keepers – A New Author’s Bumpy Road

Things seldom go as planned.  I, for one, am the type who would like to have my life mapped out, color coded, and filed in alphabetical order.  Sounds like a mundane existence eh?  However, coping with ADD, a full-time family, a J-O-B, and my love of writing makes me a little crazy at times. 

When my first novel, The Keepers, debuted I was ready to hit the ground running, and that’s just what I did.  My sales background lends me to being a marketing bulldog and the sales were rolling in!  Who wouldn’t be happy with that scenario?  I’d built a ton of momentum, and things were going great.  However, in my rush to get the book out there, I didn’t stop to read over what we had published.  That being said, the novel generated a lot of great reviews and fans.  I’m forever grateful for the zest with which my growing list of followers nabbed it up, devoured it, and then supported it. 

A few weeks in, I got my first lousy review.  This happens to everyone, and I didn’t think much about it.  After a couple of weeks, I got another review that wasn’t exactly glowing.  I believe you can’t please everyone, all of the time, and if you try, you’ll make yourself completely insane.  But, both the reviews mentioned bad editing and that bothered me.  You can - not like a book, because it’s not for you, but to not like it because the editing is poor is another story.

Having read a heap of Astraea’s books, I knew this wasn’t the norm.  That’s probably why I didn’t take the time to scrutinize the editing. When I pulled up a copy I realized there truly was a problem and I went to my fabulous publisher, Stephanie Taylor, and brought it to her attention.  We aren’t really sure what happened, maybe the wrong version got pulled into copy, or maybe we were so amped up on new novel fever that we missed the corrections.  Who knows? 

Truth be told the reason doesn’t matter, we just knew we had to get it fixed.  Steph immediately pulled it down and sent it back to the editing department.  Now, being a new author, I was crushed.  My baby was going back in for an overhaul, and it had just begun to make waves!  However, I knew it was the professional thing to do.  We couldn’t have a great story out there that deserved attention, but have people turned off because the editing wasn’t up to par. 

Just like anything else in life, you’re writing career will throw you curve balls.  After I wiped a few tears and dusted the dirt off, I was excited because I knew in the end the product that was delivered to my readers would be better, even if it meant a small hiatus. 

I just wanted to take this time, to thank everyone who has stood by me and patiently waited while we corrected our technical difficulties.  I also want to thank Stephanie.  Astraea is a new press, we haven’t made our first birthday yet, and she handled the entire thing with class and professionalism.  I hope you will all enjoy the new life that was breathed into the book.  No content changes were made - for those of you who have worried about this! 

I look forward to hearing all the good reviews on The Keepers and my new novel Jamais Vu!  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, once again.

Cheers!

Monique O’Connor James

Writer or Story Teller by Iris Blobel

Writer or Storyteller?

“To be or not to be “ ..... Now I’m not here to tell you that there’s a difference. Quite honestly, I wouldn’t dare. I’m not Wikipedia. But in my humble opinion, yes there is one. See, when people come up to me and ask whether I’m an writer I’m always tempted to tell them I’m a storyteller.

Hot New Release: The Keepers by Monique O'Connor James

Jess denies God.  In his infinite wisdom, he’s taken everyone she’s ever loved. Moving to the French Quarter was a ploy to erase the guilt she felt for rebuking her faith.  Perhaps, if she hadn’t met Justin, an angel preoccupied with getting back into God’s good graces, and drowning in his hatred for humanity, her plan would have worked.

Justin’s general disdain for the human race makes him difficult to like, but some higher power has appointed him her keeper.  Justin’s convinced he can mend her broken relationship with her maker, but in the process he learns a thing or two about his own humanity.

Never mind falling in love, that’s not supposed to happen.  In fact, it may even be forbidden. Jess just wants Justin to understand her plight, and he wants to protect her from a world she doesn’t know.

If neither are equipped to save the other, then whose soul will live and whose will perish?

At last check, this awesome new release was at #11 on the amazon YA list and #1 on the Hot New Releases.  CONGRATS, MONIQUE!  This book isn't specifically geared for YA, so if you enjoy a good story about good vs evil, you'll love this one!

Writer Wednesday: Writing Dialogue by Jean Joachim

         Too much of anything is bad listen to how Jean breaks down how to handle the dialogue plight so many writers face.

                     Writing dialogue

Too much narration, that’s my crime.

“Show, don’t tell,” said the editor…all editors! Action, not exposition! I like to write dialogue to show instead of tell. But dialogue can be tricky. Do you write the way we speak or differently? I was writing the way I speak and the dialogue slowed down to a crawl. Help! I found a great article from Writer’s Digest called, “The Seven Tools of Dialogue” and it changed my writing completely, winning me three book contracts.

I use some of the tools directly and made up some of my own, based on the advice of the article and what works for me. The article talks about letting dialogue flow, just write, write it all down as fast as you can. Don’t edit as you go, get it on paper. Afterward, read it aloud or to yourself or both and then begin editing. I write dialogue that way, going with the flow.

Doorstops

I try to eliminate what I call “doorstops” to dialogue, phrases stopping dialogue in its tracks, slowing it down to the point of boredom. My two favorite doorstops are the words “yes” and “no”. I try never to use them. Dialogue without those words speeds up. Here’s an example of a conversation between the hero, Grey, from my latest WIP and the heroine, Carrie:

“So you want my opinion?” She asked, impressed he had read her work.

            “If you don’t mind. Can I pay for it with a nice dinner?” He asked, moving closer.

            “Why not?” She agreed, feeling warmth in her body growing as he neared.

            “How about Le Chien D’Or?” he asked, mentioning a chic French restaurant.

            While “yes” was the implied answer to the questions, the word never actually appeared and the dialogued moved quickly. Here it is with doorstops added:

“So you want my opinion?” She asked, impressed he had read her work.

            “Yes. If you don’t mind. Can I pay for it with a nice dinner?” He asked, moving closer.

            “Yes,” She agreed, feeling warmth in her body growing as he neared.

            “How about Le Chien D’Or?” he asked, mentioning a chic French restaurant.

Another example from the same WIP is this conversation between Grey, and his sister, Jenna:

“Are you still holding tight to your three criteria?”

            “I told you, those were not negotiable.”

            “So have you met anyone who fits any of those yet?”

            “A new woman I met this week meets the first one.”

            “Which one is that?”

            “She’s smart. Very smart.”

            “Good. Maybe she’ll be smart enough to figure out how to win you over.”

            Again, without Grey ever saying “yes” to any of his sister’s questions he gets the agreement across without a doorstop slowing down the dialogue. The point is to keep the conversation moving. Here’s what it would look like with doorstops added.

“Are you still holding tight to your three criteria?”

            “Yes. I told you, those were not negotiable.”

            “So have you met anyone who fits any of those yet?”

            “Yes. A new woman I met this week meets the first one.”

            “Which one is that?”

            “She’s smart. Very smart.”

            “Good. Maybe she’ll be smart enough to figure out how to win you over.”

It may not seem like a big difference but the doorstop brings the conversation to a halt, only to then be started up again. When a character absolutely must indicate “yes” or “no” I may have them nod or shake their head instead of speak. This technique brings in the fourth point in the article, use silence. This doesn’t mean you never use “yes” and “no”, use them judiciously, make them count.

Sidestepping

Sidestepping wordiness by being brief, cutting out extraneous words combined with silence can be an effective way to communicate emotions and actions. It was used by Hemingway, a good enough endorsement for me. Here’s an example of dropping words from “Sunny Days, Moonlit Nights”:

“Want to hear one more from this lovely lady?” he asked.

The thunderous response kept Sunny onstage.

“Song Sung Blue?” he asked.

            “But that’s your song!” she protested.

“Do it with me. It will be our song,” he said.

Confrontation

The article talks about using confrontation in dialogue. I use confrontational dialogue instead of exposition or narrative in “Sunny Days, Moonlit Nights” to show the antagonism, anger and unhappiness in Sunny’s marriage that made her run away:

“It’s about time you called,” he said in a loud, angry voice.

“Brad, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! You disappear into the night,

the police think I killed you, the newspapers have already tried and

convicted me…don’t tell me to calm down,” he yelled.

“Brad, if you don’t calm down, I’m hanging up the

phone…then I’m calling the newspapers and telling them you did

try to kill me and that’s why I ran away!” she countered.

“You wouldn’t dare!” he gasped.

“Try me, just try me,” she threatened in an angry tone, her

pulse racing her mouth dry.

Dialogue is an important part, a major part, of every book I write. I love the challenge of writing good dialogue, learning to drop words without losing the meaning, adding confrontation, using silence and keeping “doorstops” at bay. If I keep improving, perhaps I’ll become good enough at dialogue to write a play?

To find out more form Jean Joachim check her out here and come check out Astraea Press's website for new books every week.